“I’ve never felt good enough.”

We live in a culture of not-good-enough, not rich enough, not smart enough, not cool enough, my lawn isn’t green enough, my hair isn’t thick and shiny enough, my ass isn’t thin enough.

Makes you want to scream.

You can blame marketing and you’d by right. It exploits our not-good-enough but marketing didn’t make the problem.

What is that feeling you say you have of not-good-enough?
No, really think about that.

You say you feel like you’re not good enough but that is not a feeling — it’s a belief. What is the feeling that goes with that belief?

Depression, you say? Well, you can turn it into depression. (How can I be good enough when I am so depressed? Or I am so depressed that I am not good enough.)

Sadness, you say? Maybe.

Makes you want to scream, doesn’t it?
Bet if you screamed you’d feel better.
Like in the movie, Network —

“I’m mad as hell and I am not going to take it anymore.”

What would make you good enough? I bet if you were rich as Bill Gates, good looking as Brad Pitt (or his girlfriend), smart as Einstein, you’d still think you’re not-good-enough.

The problem is the problem is not all in your head. It’s in your gut

It’s that pissed off feeling that you got when you were young and someone who cared about you told you to stand up straighter, work harder, try harder, be all that you can be. Bless them. They thought they were helping.

Then you stopped feeling mad and started believing they were right. You just aren’t trying hard enough, doing enough, being enough.

Why were you born to be the one that isn’t good enough?

Was there a lottery? “Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of today’s NOT-GOOD-ENOUGH life is ….”

Makes you want to scream, doesn’t it.

Less than Helpful Advice
If you’re one of the millions (billions?) of us that were born to be not-good-enough, accept your fate. You will never be good enough. Sorry – but I can’t bullshit you on this one.

Every day, you will have to wake up and look in the mirror and see your not-good-enough self and say, “Damn, another not-good-enough day.”

Stand there and study your not-good-enough body.  Accept that in the lottery of life — you just screwed up.

Makes you want to scream, doesn’t it?
Okay, so scream — bet you’ll end up rolling on your bed laughing.

Now go out there and have a great, wonderful, happy NOT-GOOD-ENOUGH day with all the rest of us not-good-enoughs.

About almondhead

I am a mental health counselor in private practice. One of the focuses of my practice is helping people with fear, anxiety and their ugly stepsister, depression. I became a counselor after a long career in the technology world, so naturally, I think of the brain as an engineering problem. It can help to understand something about how the brain works. I decided to start this blog as a way to help other people learn about fear, anxiety and relationship. (All our problems are really about relationships.) You can also find me at:
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