The Gravity of Relationships

In high school, I was taught that gravity is a force that makes apples fall out of trees. Isaac Newton figured that out. His theory was incomplete. Gravity is much more mysterious.

Gravity is the organizing principal of the universe. Gravity tells mass (like planets and our bodies) how to move. The fascinating part is that mass (like planets and our bodies) tell gravity how to shape itself.

Around a body like Earth, gravity causes space to curve. Technically our bodies do the same thing but they are not “massive” enough to have any measurable effect — nope — not even Hulk Hogan. When two massive objects get together they cause gravity to curve space and then they travel in that curve.

You can’t blame mass for telling gravity what to do and you can’t blame gravity for telling mass what to do. They exist as a system; not independently of one another.


Emotions are the gravity of relationships.

Relationship behavior creates our emotions and emotions tell us how to behave in relationships.

Like gravity, emotions cause us to curve toward or away from each other.

Happy-sad couples

And going toward or away from each other creates different emotions.

It’s a system. You can’t blame your emotions on the relationship and you can’t blame  how you behave in the relationship on your emotions. They are interrelated, like gravity and mass.

If you want different emotions, try different behavior.
Wow Faces
If you want different behavior, change your emotions.

How you behave together is up to you.

Loving Couple 2Loving Couple 1

Plain and Simple Advice

Your emotions and behavior shape your reality. The older you get, the more it’s going to matter.

Loving couple old

About almondhead

I am a mental health counselor in private practice. One of the focuses of my practice is helping people with fear, anxiety and their ugly stepsister, depression. I became a counselor after a long career in the technology world, so naturally, I think of the brain as an engineering problem. It can help to understand something about how the brain works. I decided to start this blog as a way to help other people learn about fear, anxiety and relationship. (All our problems are really about relationships.) You can also find me at:
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