I am a sucker for flattery. It gets right into my ego and I tell myself I really am all that. Then comes the zinger. Someone hits me with a critical remark, a judgment, a little pin stuck in my ego. I deflate.
I know I am supposed to ignore criticism but there is a catch. IF I DESERVE THE FLATTERY, THEN DON’T I DESERVE THE CRITICISM TOO?
There ain’t no free lunch. You gotta take the bad with the good. Capisce? Of course, I remind myself. I don’t have to accept either one.
You mean, turn down those bits of ego boost that people throw my way? When someone tells me I …
- “did a great job.”
- “am such a good listener.”
- “look like Paul Newman (before he died)”
I’m supposed to not listen? What’s my ego going to do?
You gotta take the bad with the good. If I deserve the flattery, then I deserve the judgments and criticism too.
What a dilemma.
Less Then Helpful Advice
Next time someone throws you a compliment, ask yourself, why are they complimenting me? Do they think I am so needy? Then modify the compliment to fit reality.
“Oh, Charles, you’re such a good listener.” “Yes, I am capable of listening well at times.”
People might say, “Can’t you take a compliment?”
Tell them, “I can. I am just not sure it’s good for me.”
Do the same thing the next time someone criticizes or judges you. Capisce?