Sometimes the Universe Does Not Behave as it Should

Laundering sheets; that’s the problem. Every time I dry a fitted sheet, some other article of clothing gets trapped in the corner of the sheet. The article does not get dry nor does the sheet and it is a pain wrestling the sheet apart to retrieve the under shorts, socks, or hand towel that got trapped there.

It makes me want to throw the whole mess across the room and curse the universe which I am utterly convinced makes this happen just to aggravate me.

I find that life is full of crappy inconveniences that crank up my emotions. The words that usually fit are “this is not fair” , “why me”, or “how can they be so stupid?” Yes, I am sure the universe spends inordinate amounts of time trying to annoy me.

These little bits of childish anger are normal, I think, unless we let them get away from us and behave like children. When we do that, we usually harm other people because, damn it, if I’m angry, someone has to pay. That is how we may have thought when we were little kids; we threw temper tantrums to let everyone know his lordship or her ladyship was displeased and everyone had better watch out.

I call this type of childish anger, rage. I am convinced that it is a reaction to the world, other people, and situations not being the way we want them to be. Rage tells us to invade other people’s ground and act in opposition to their interests.

This is different from healthy anger which is an emotion that tells us to stand our ground and act in our own interests as opposed to acting against other people. When I express healthy anger and act on it, I feel better about myself, other people and the universe. Healthy anger leads me to think: maybe I should dry the sheets separately and avoid the problem in the future.

Plain and Simple Advice

How do you tell the difference between rage and healthy anger? Here is my rule of thumb. When the feeling makes me want to attack someone or something, it’s definitely rage. Healthy anger gives me no sense of needing to strike out against anyone, harm anyone, or damage anything.

Another rule of thumb is, unfortunately, after the fact. After I have acted on my feeling, if I have a sense of guilt or remorse for what I did, or if I am embarrassed by what I did, most likely the feeling was rage.

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About almondhead

I am a mental health counselor in private practice. One of the focuses of my practice is helping people with fear, anxiety and their ugly stepsister, depression. I became a counselor after a long career in the technology world, so naturally, I think of the brain as an engineering problem. It can help to understand something about how the brain works. I decided to start this blog as a way to help other people learn about fear, anxiety and relationship. (All our problems are really about relationships.) You can also find me at: www.virtuallyfearless.com www.PsychologyToday.com www.theravive.com http://www.marriagefriendlytherapists.com/
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