This is My Life Now

Do any of these lamentations fit?

I used to be married or had a relationship.
I used to have a job I liked.
I used to have more money.
I used to have lunch with mom every Sunday but she died.
I used to (fill in the blank).




Obviously this list could go on for pages. Our usedtos cause us all sorts of grief. Grief is natural and a part of life, like the losses that cause it. Losing someone or something we loved or liked having in our life is painful.

There is a point in grieving called acceptance. It is not the same as forgetting. It sounds like this: “That was my life then; this is my life now.”

I used to be in a relationship, have a job I liked, have more money; That was my life then; this is my life now.

Say it over and over. Say it when you are dwelling on your loss. Say it when you are feeling sorry for yourself. This is my life now.

Say it through gritted teeth or with eyes misting up. Whisper it, shout it, scream it if you anger-eyes-1434197won’t scare the dog. This is my life now. That was my life then; this is my life now.

God help me. This is my life now. It will never be as it was before. And tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, my life will be different. But this is my life now.

Say it every night when you go to bed and every morning when you wake up.


One day, you will say it and a deep breath will rise from your chest and you will hold it like you are holding onto the past. Then your body will force you to breathe out and suck in a new breath because you can only control your breath for so long, then survival takes over. In fact, you can only control anything for just so long.

and then, you will realize that there is still life ahead, there is hope, and there is someone who still needs





Less than Helpful Advice

passionate-prayer-1315195-1279x1068Say it: this is my life now;
this is my life now;
this is my life now.

About almondhead

I am a mental health counselor in private practice. One of the focuses of my practice is helping people with fear, anxiety and their ugly stepsister, depression. I became a counselor after a long career in the technology world, so naturally, I think of the brain as an engineering problem. It can help to understand something about how the brain works. I decided to start this blog as a way to help other people learn about fear, anxiety and relationship. (All our problems are really about relationships.) You can also find me at:
This entry was posted in Less Than Helpful Advice and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.